Earlier today I had a chat with two senior lecturers during lunch break. One of them is a type of lecturer who would give her best and then she let the rest of the progress unto the students to pursue.
The other one is the opposite. She tends to blame herself if her students are unable to understand the materials that she delivers. She said that she’s a failure because the score of mid exams were sinking deeply. Just like my classes as well.
I am more like the second senior lecture, with my self-blame and guilty feeling over bad scores. The fact that my students mid exams scores are terrible, really hits me hard and makes me feel less motivated. But I have to move on and carry on.
It is not easy to be a teacher or lecturer, because we have to live by example. We can’t just live the way we love per se, we have to give our students chance to meet their optimum level. And sometimes, we – as the lecturer – have to swallow the bitter pill of seeing them sinking, especially when they have no motivation whatsoever.
I’m grateful that I have the chance of being a lecturer. I hope I can live by example for my students.