It is only a few days left on November, which means that end of this horse year is coming real soon. I am excited to welcome the end of this month and prepare myself for Christmas time with my family and, at last, welcoming New Year. Today, I encountered many people and with them I have been reminded – about how I live my life lately.
One mentor told me last night that I am no longer the happy and cheerful Cicilia that she used to know. I may seem fine, but I have changed. She is afraid to talk to me deeply, because my depressed aura may influence her. She was being frank to me and honestly, I have to agree with her. I am easily anxious lately, I take too much on my plate and did not really finish them up. I let them float in my mind and in turn, I become even more anxious.
Then my mom. I told her of my conversation with my mentor and she said that this year I have changed, in a way that I am easily angry. It is as if I am angry over small issues – the tiny bitty parts of life. I was surprised to hear that from my Mom. But then, she explained to me that I need to let myself be free of my weariness, believe in God more (this is absolutely right!) and live day by day. She also said that I will reap what I sow so far – therefore, I need to stop worrying what the future will bring for me.
And at last, my best friend for the past 17 years. We had dinner together and talked a lot about God-knows-what. We simply talked and discussed on everything. He told me that my blog posts lately seem to lose its meaning of being grateful. I have to admit that in those days, I just do not know how to be grateful, or what to be grateful of.
But tonight, I decided to remember that I was made with vision and purpose. God called me to be with my family, my husband, all of my friends and relatives – and therefore, every positive reminder from them is a message from God. Now I know that I need to shift my stand to where God wants me to be. He wants me to be happy with my life, no matter what. He wants me to help others with the talents that He has given me. And He wants me to love others as much as I love myself.
November, I am ready to say goodbye to you. I am ready and excited to welcome Christmas – as a renewal of our faith. Have a good day, everyone!